- One person in the relationship is already done.
- The couple comes into counseling with the goal of “proving” why the other person is responsible for the conflict.
- The couple is not upfront about extra-marital relationships even if those relationships are not yet physical in nature.
- The couple does not do the therapeutic work between sessions. Some therapists give outright homework assignments while others may say things like, “pay attention to …” or “consider replacing … with ….”
- The couple waits until the session to unload on the other person.
- The couple does not want to look inside of themselves to see their individual contributions to the discord.
- The couple does not create space for the other person to change.
- The couple does not allow for “human error” in the partner.
- The couple wants to hurry up and get past the main problems.
- The couple inconsistently attends therapy and /or only makes appointments when they are in crisis.
One of the most common areas of contention for couples is the tendency for people in a relationship to stop listening and start assuming. Assumptions can not only cause arguments, but can also cause unwanted stress on others around them, including pets. Pets under stress can exhibit challenging behaviors that only add to the stress the couple was already experiencing.
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