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Top 10 Reasons Why Couple’s Counseling Does Not Work
- One person in the relationship is already done.
- The couple comes into counseling with the goal of “proving” why the other person is responsible for the conflict.
- The couple is not upfront about extra-marital relationships even if those relationships are not yet physical in nature.
- The couple does not do the therapeutic work between sessions. Some therapists give outright homework assignments while others may say things like, “pay attention to …” or “consider replacing … with ….”
- The couple waits until the session to unload on the other person.
- The couple does not want to look inside of themselves to see their individual contributions to the discord.
- The couple does not create space for the other person to change.
- The couple does not allow for “human error” in the partner.
- The couple wants to hurry up and get past the main problems.
- The couple inconsistently attends therapy and /or only makes appointments when they are in crisis.